Eating Disorders - Is it Anorexia Or Bulimia Or is it Just a Phase? By Lynn A Moore

It is a challenge for parents to know when your daughter's eating behaviors warrant intervention and when it may just be a phase and simple discussion and education with her is enough. I'm going to give you a couple of general categories in which to evaluate your daughter's status.

Does My Daughter Need Intervention and Treatment or Is This Just a Phase?

There are a couple of ways I encourage parents to evaluate whether or not their daughter may need intervention.

If she has lost an acceptable amount of weight and seems to want to lose more; you can say to her, "Okay, you have lost enough weight. You need to stop now." One of two things will happen. She will either listen and trust your opinion like she has in the past and stop restricting her intake; or she will ignore you and continue with the weight loss behaviors.

Obviously if she does not stop restricting there is reason for concern. You can then follow up with her and begin discussion on why she is still trying to lose weight and express your concerns.

The other approach you can take, especially if she is resistant to going to a physician or therapist is to say something like, "I know you think I am overreacting and I am willing to consider this is a possibility. So here's what I am willing to do so we can find out how much of an issue this is."

Then you give her some guidelines you expect her to follow in the next 2 to 3 weeks. Preferably ones she is agreeable to and the two of you have negotiated together. Some examples might be, "You have to maintain the weight you are at right now." Or "You have to eat 3 meals a day and this is what these meals must include."

Then you say, "Okay, we have an agreement then." And you repeat the agreement. She needs to verbally agree to her commitment. You let her know that if she is unable to keep her agreement, then she will have to see a physician, therapist, nutritionist or whatever the physician recommends.

You also need to say that if this happens, it is not negotiable. She will not be given a choice about whether or not to attend these appointments, period. This is her chance to show you she does not need further help and if she can't keep the agreement, this will be evidence that she needs outside help.

So again, one of two things will happen. She will be able to reign herself in and get back on track with her eating or she won't. Here's the thing. If there is a real problem or one is building, she may be able to maintain or follow the guidelines for a short time, but she won't be able to sustain it. So you want to give her enough time to really see if she can keep her commitment.

Let me give a word of caution. If your daughter has already lost too much weight and her weight is dangerously low, then this approach is not appropriate because she needs intervention immediately. This can only be used early on in the process when you are evaluating your daughter's emotional, mental and physical health.

Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book "Eating Disorder Basics for Parents" here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will guide you through the treacherous waters of deciding what kind of help you need and what you, the parents need to do and can do to help your child.