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Helping Control Teenage Suicide - A Silent Epidemic
By Judith O'Connor
Most people who commit suicide suffer from depression. Because teenagers tend to live in the moment, they may attempt suicide to escape a situation with which they feel they're unable to deal. They may be trying to get relief from bad feelings or thoughts. Most really don't want to die as much as they want to escape the current situation in their life. At that moment dying seems like the only way out. Other people are trying to get away from feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss. They might be attempting to get rid of anger, shame, or guilt about their life situation. Some feel unloved, victimized, unwanted by those they love, or that they are a burden on them.
Everyone feels overwhelmed by situations or emotions at times. Most can put their problems in perspective and with hope and determination carry on their lives. What makes some people more resilient? What makes one person unable to see a way out except suicide? There are warning signs that someone is planning suicide. Some of these are: talking about suicide, death, or going away; giving away possessions; isolation from family and friends; no longer taking part in favorite activities; unable to concentrate or think clearly; changes in sleeping or eating habits; or engaging in self-destructive behaviors (drinking, drugs, or cutting, etc.)
If you know someone who fits the criteria listed above, just talking with them and listening will help them feel less lonely and that someone cares. Talking about their problems also provides an opportunity for them to consider other solutions. Most people considering suicide will talk to someone who shows they are concerned and caring. Try to help them see one other option out of the situation they're in. Then assist them to get professional help. Getting them help as soon as possible could save your friend's life. Tell an adult you trust. If necessary you can call a suicide crisis line and professionals will be happy to help you figure out the best thing to do.
If a teenager attempts or commits suicide having shown none of the indicators usually seen, it leaves loved ones not only grief stricken but loaded down with guilt, wondering if they missed the signs. Family members and friends of someone who dies by suicide need to understand that sometimes there are no warning signs. They should not blame themselves. Suicide always causes terrible emotional pain for those left behind. Having a classmate or family member commit suicide makes teens vulnerable to suicidal thinking and behavior themselves. Talk with a counselor or therapist, who is trained to deal with such difficult issues. Alternately, you could join a support group for suicide survivors; then you can share your feelings and get support from others in your same situation.
New social, personal and academic pressures make the teen years difficult. To teenagers who live in a violent or abusive environment, life can seem impossible to deal with. They may also worry whether their sexual feelings, relationships, and attractions are normal. They can be concerned about being loved and accepted. Trying to achieve an impossible ideal distorts body image and causes eating disorders, leaving them feeling disappointed with themselves. Some struggle with learning disabilities or ADHD that make success in school an additional problem. They become disappointed in themselves and are certain they are a disappointment to others as well. These problems lead to depression if they continue without relief or support.
Everyone struggles with problems and painful events at times. Most get through it without becoming depressed by keeping connected to family, faith, school friends, and other support networks. Teens are better able to deal with tough circumstances if they have someone who believes in and wants the best for them. Then they also have someone in whom they can confide. Coping becomes easier if they keep in mind that the majority of problems can be overcome and actually last a short time.
Therapists and counselors can help teens cultivate their own coping skills for dealing with their problems by providing emotional support. Joining support networks may also help. These groups provide a caring environment in which teens can talk through problems. Depression emphasizes the negative side of all situations; the individuals are unable to see a good outcome, feel they'll never be happy again or things will never work out. Depression provides a filter on the thought process that distorts everything. That's why depression can make suicide look like a viable option; they don't realize it is a permanent end to a situation in life that is temporary. Suicide attempts may be the only way they see to communicate their desperate unhappiness. When appropriate therapy or treatment takes effect, the distorted thinking clears. Pleasure, energy, and hope become part of the individual's life again.
The number of teenagers who see suicide as the solution to their problems rises each year--and they are unfortunately becoming better at accomplishing it. The pressures on teenagers only continue to increase, so this epidemic is not likely to resolve any time soon. Those who care for and about teens must be conscious of the signs and willing to offer help to them through whatever event has triggered their suicidal desire. They must realize that suicide is never the solution.
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